


Heart of the TARDIS

by Topaz_Eyes



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Bittersweet, Episode Fix-it: s04e13 Journey's End, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Fix-It, Gen, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-16
Updated: 2011-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-14 20:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Topaz_Eyes/pseuds/Topaz_Eyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A "Journey's End" fix-it fic.  The Doctor doesn't take Donna's memories away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart of the TARDIS

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Rewritten History comment!fic meme](http://community.livejournal.com/fictorium/30363.html) at [](http://community.livejournal.com/fictorium/profile)[](http://community.livejournal.com/fictorium/)**fictorium** , for the prompt _Doctor Who, Tenth Doctor, Donna, Any others you wish to include. The Doctor doesn't take Donna's memories away._ All recognizable dialogue and phrases taken from "Doomsday," "The Runaway Bride" and "Journey's End."

_"Donna, d'you know what's happening?"_

_She looked up, devastated. "Yeah."_

_"There's never been a Human-Time Lord metacrisis before now. And you know why."_

_"Because there can't be."_

In the TARDIS, the Doctor approached her, his face grave. Donna trembled, her own lined with fear and pain, but she stood her ground. "I want to stay," she said.

He shook his head. "Look at me, Donna, look at me."

She raised her chin, pinned him with her defiant gaze. "I'd rather die than go back," she said. "Please don't make me go back."

The Doctor stopped short and swallowed, his own eyes welling up. "I can't let you die. I won't."

Tears spilled down Donna's cheeks but she still stood firm. "Yes you can, Spaceman, and you will. If you ever cared for me--OH!" She clutched her hair and gasped. "My _head_ \--!"

Her knees buckled beneath her. The Doctor lunged forward the two remaining steps to catch her before she fell. The motion pitched him off-balance; he slammed against a coral strut. He slid down until he was sat on the floor grating with her in his lap. He pulled her to him, pressed her against his hearts. She was burning hot. Her face twisted in agony.

"I was gonna stay with you forever."

He nodded. "I know."

"Just let it be quick," she whispered. "Please. It _hurts_."

She fell limp and her eyes rolled back. Tendrils of golden energy swirled round her head in a corona. She had two, maybe three minutes at most before the fury of the Time Lord's mind (his mind, it was always him who destroyed) consumed what was left of hers. His vision blurred until everything he saw of her was fuzzy outlines, brown and purple, red and gold. After all they'd done, all they'd seen, Donna who'd saved the universe--Donna, his magnificent Donna, the best friend he'd ever had, was going to die in his arms. He closed his eyes, choked back a sob. No--

No. He couldn't let her. He'd caused too many deaths already, he wasn't strong enough to let her go, too. "Donna," he said thickly into her hair, "oh, Donna Noble, I am so sorry. Forgive me." He edged his fingers towards her temples, silently begging the indifferent universe, please don't let him be already too late.

He had just pressed his fingertips to her skin when the answering whisper brushed his mind like a caress. _Open my heart._

Startled, he looked up. "What?"

The Time Rotor pulsated with a gentle blue light, beckoning. _Open my heart, my Doctor. Bring my Donna to me._

Clutching at hope, he struggled to his feet, Donna's weight heavy against him. She was unconscious, her breathing already shallow. Half-carrying, half-dragging her, he stumbled halfway around the console to an access panel, where a switch, one he'd never seen before, revealed itself limned in blue. He pressed it blindly. The panel began to open, and he pulled back into shadow. The heart of the TARDIS shone white before them.

_Donna. Donna Noble._

To the Doctor's surprise, Donna stirred at the TARDIS' chime.

_Come to me._

Her eyes opened to mere slits, and she whimpered with pain. "I can't. It hurts too much."

_I know. Come to me._

Somehow, Donna eased herself from the Doctor's arm. She nearly doubled over with another spasm, but slowly she raised herself upright. She shuffled, drawn forward, until she stood trembling in front of the growing light from the panel.

Then the TARDIS began to sing.

It started as a low, rich hum, rising to a melody the Doctor had never heard before. Yet at the same time it felt like he'd always known it, a timeless hymn emanating from the centre of the universe. His breath caught in his throat as the nameless, wordless song soared above them, filling the room.

Bathed in the light of the heart of the TARDIS, Donna straightened, as if hearing a question within it. "Yes," Donna whispered, "yes, I will." She stepped into its embrace, spread her hands and looked up at the ceiling.

Soft, white light spilled out and streamed around her. Within seconds, she glowed as the atoms which comprised her began to dissolve.

The Doctor stepped out of the shadow by the strut and reached for her, alarmed. "Donna?"

She turned at his voice and advanced towards him; she was enveloped in a golden swirl, and fading from his sight. "It's okay," she said, "Doctor, it's okay. I'm free now. There's no more pain."

The Doctor drew a ragged breath. "No. You can't go."

She closed the distance, swiped a ghostly thumb across his wet cheek. "I'm home, Spaceman. All of time and space, where I'm meant to be. I'm home."

Only the barest shimmer of Donna remained now. The Doctor swallowed, reached out to brush the last remnants of her hair off her shoulder one more time, trailed his knuckles along the outline of her jaw. She gave him that magnificent, dazzling smile that had always been meant for him; the light and song of the TARDIS rose to a crescendo, and he had to close his eyes against its brilliance.

When he opened them again, the panel had closed, and Donna had disappeared.

The control room was back to normal. And wasn't it just.

He wandered around the console, stroking bits and bobs of it, his hearts sore. His throat tightened, familiar bitterness rising. It never could last, could it, no matter what he did. Back to the same old life, last of the Time Lords. Always alone, why did he even try--

 _Oh spare me your emo, Time Boy_ , he heard, resonating from the telepathic link he had with the TARDIS--

Which sounded exactly like Donna. He reeled as if he'd been slapped.

Gingerly, he raised a hand to his cheek. He swore he could feel the sting of Donna's palm there.

_You are such a drama queen, you know that? Dunno how the TARDIS put up with you this long._

The Doctor threw his head back and laughed. The TARDIS -- and Donna! -- chimed in with him, and he laughed until his sides were sore and he could barely stand.

"But how--why--?" he gasped as he tried to catch his breath.

_Heart of the TARDIS. Can't ever get rid of me now._

He remembered the first time they met. "I couldn't get rid of you if I tried," he said.

He couldn't miss the smile in her voice. _And don't you ever forget it._

"Never."

_And don't you dare go maudlin on us again, d'you hear? We won't stand for it._

"Yes, ma'am."

_Now let's go see Mum and Gramps._

The Doctor wiped his eyes and set a course for Chiswick.

  


* * *

Wilf bounded down the hall at the sound of the doorbell.

"That must be her!" he said as he reached the front door. He flung it open, grinning at the sight of the TARDIS parked across the street. Then he saw Doctor alone on the front step.

His face fell. "But--where's Donna?" he said, confused. "Where's my girl?"

"Wilf," the Doctor said, "find Sylvia. I need to talk to you."

  


* * *

The Doctor sat on the couch in Sylvia's living room and leaned forward, speaking intently. "She took my mind, into her own head. But that's a Time Lord consciousness. All that knowledge. It was killing her."

Wilf's face grew slack with denial. In contrast, Sylvia's features hardened. "Where is she? Where is my daughter?"

"She's no longer with us."

Wilf half-gasped, half-sobbed. Sylvia's voice rose. "'No longer with us'? What the hell does that mean?"

"Donna merged with the heart of the TARDIS," he said. "Her body was consumed."

"Oh my word--"

"So she's dead," Sylvia said, "because you and your TARDIS-thing killed her."

"No. No, Sylvia, she's not." The Doctor grabbed their hands, held them together and squeezed. "Wilf. Listen to me. Donna's not dead. She's alive, so very much alive. Her memories, her brilliance, her--her heart and her soul, they all live on within the TARDIS itself. Her body's gone, but Donna Noble will travel forever, through space, and time, and eternity, just as she always wanted."

Sylvia pulled her hand away. "I wish I could believe that."

"You can see for yourself."

"Can we see her, Doctor?" Wilf asked. "If she's part of your ship--?"

The Doctor squeezed his hand again. "Come with me, both of you."

The rain poured, drenching the three of them during the short walk across the street. They ducked inside just before a torrent sluiced down on them. The Doctor strode to the console, but Sylvia and Wilf stopped short at the door, their mouths agape.

"Oh my God, it's bigger on the inside," Sylvia said, clutching Wilf's arm. "It's bigger-- That's impossible! Dad, do you see--?"

Wilf nodded and looked around. "Aye, I see it." He then raised his head at the faintest scent of vanilla and jasmine wafting through the control room. "That's her perfume!" Wilf said.

The Doctor grinned, rocked on his heels. "I know. Didn't take long, did it. She's already made herself at home."

"Oh, now that's my Donna."

Sylvia and Wilf approached the console. The Doctor flipped some switches, and the Time Rotor began to glow. Sylvia stepped forward, but the Doctor held out his arm to block her path.

"Stand back," the Doctor said. "Don't go any closer." He moved to join them.

A panel in front of them opened to flood the TARDIS interior with light. Donna shone at the centre of it, outlined in white and gold, contrasting with the fiery ginger of her hair.

"Mum. Gramps!" She smiled. "You came."

Sylvia's hand flew to her mouth. _"Oh."_

"I'm okay, Mum. Don't worry, I'm fine. I'm part of the TARDIS now." She lifted her hands up and laughed. "It's wonderful here, you know, I still can't believe it! It's like heaven."

"But how?" Wilf asked. He turned to the Doctor. "How did she get into your ship like that?"

"We-ell..." The Doctor rubbed his neck and considered. "When we first met, Donna had been dosed with an ancient energy source, billions of years old, that's found only in the heart of the TARDIS now. We cleared the Huon particles from Donna's system, but they changed her molecular sub-structure. Oh, it was subtle, it never harmed her, but it altered her just enough so that when she was--"

The Doctor blinked rapidly, cleared his throat. He then continued, "Anyway, the TARDIS was able to extract and incorporate Donna's specific synaptic patterns into its neural nets before she burned up. In other words, the TARDIS took in Donna's consciousness. Saved her life. Metaphysically speaking."

Wilf and Sylvia stared at him blankly. Donna rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you learn to ignore the technobabble eventually." The Doctor raised an annoyed eyebrow, and she smirked at him. The TARDIS giggled.

He heaved a put-upon sigh. "I can't win with either of you, can I."

"You're hopelessly outnumbered, Spaceman."

"But what will you do, Donna?" Wilf asked.

"Oh, don't worry, I'll have my hands full." With a wry smile, Donna jabbed her thumb at the Doctor. "Can't leave him alone for a minute. It takes the two of us just to look after him."

"Oi!"

"What matters is we three will always be together. The Doctor and Donna Noble in the TARDIS. Isn't that wizard?"

Sylvia was crying silently. Donna gazed at her, her face soft. "Mum, don't be sad. I'm where I'm supposed to be. I'm happy. And if you need us, just pick up the phone and we'll be there in a tick. Won't we," she said, staring pointedly at the Doctor.

"Yes! Yes, absolutely."

Sylvia sniffed. "Thank you."

Wilf put an arm around his daughter. His old face was wet too, but he was grinning as he addressed Donna. "And you go be amazing out there, sweetheart."

"Oh, I will, Gramps. The universe has been waiting for me."

They said their goodbyes, and the Doctor ushered Wilf and Sylvia out. When he returned, the panel had closed again. The control room felt infinitely brighter, and warmer than it had since Gallifrey. He tossed his soaking overcoat on a coral strut and sprung up the ramp to the console.

"So where shall we go?" he said, pulling up the computer.

 _Let's go find you a proper flesh-and-blood companion first,_ the TARDIS-Donna said. _I know just the place._

"Where's that?"

_Trust me, you'll find out._

The TARDIS-Donna set coordinates. Energized, the Doctor flipped switches and pressed levers. He released the hand brake with a gleeful push, and clung to the sparking console as the Time Rotor's engines roared to life.


End file.
